Monday, March 31, 2008

It Is In His Hands!

Well, it’s not looking good for our I171h arrival before my trip to Haiti in three weeks. For those who do not understand the Haitian dossier lingo, we are waiting for our final approval letter from the US government. Once we have this letter, we can submit our official file to the Haitian adoption system. As of right now, our social worker must re-submit our home study with some corrections in order to receive approval. To me, it’s just another minor detail to slow up this entire process.

Not only was I hoping to have our approval enabling us to submit our paperwork to Haiti, but I was also hoping to be able to have it in time for my travels to Haiti. I really wanted to hand-deliver our file ensuring its safe arrival. I also was hoping I would be able to schedule my DHS appointment in Port au Prince while I was there in a few weeks. We must complete this step prior to the file being sent to the IBESR ~ Haitian Social Service Department ~ where the “real” adoption process begins. In this department, our file gets a “number” and officially begins going through the adoption system. However, carrying my file down will have to wait, we will have to schedule our DHS appointment another time and our file will not enter the adoption process just yet.


Normally, I would get frustrated and discouraged with all this. I am, however, to the point with this adoption where I have learned I have no control and there is really no point to get upset. In a sense, I have thrown up my arms and let it go for the sake of my emotions and the sake of this entire process. I am not at all giving up; I am just not letting it control my well-being or me. There is not a thing I can do to make this adoption process speed up or go more smoothly. There is not a thing I can do to ensure our boys come home in a time frame to my liking. So, I just have to let it go and let the process take place.


In the mean time, I pray. I pray for peace with this lengthy process. I pray for my boys until they are able to come home. I focus my prayers on my family’s growth and changes at this time, a well. I also ask the Lord to provide the boys, the orphanage and our family with all needed to carry on each and everyday. Finally, I pray to God asking Him to take all of this. I have completely given this to Him and pray I can continue to do so. This adoption is in His hands and must remind myself of this everyday.

7 comments:

angela said...

colleen, it's so true. not one step of this process goes as planned! and that's just the truth! but the Lord called you to this and He will give you the strength it takes to get through it!
and what a day that will be!!

Sarah and Tim said...

Colleen, I will pray for you regarding this. We too had hoped for an appointment while I was there in Oct of last year, but didn't get our approval either. We had to wait until Jan when Tim could go. Know that you are not alone in this, and will be covered in prayer as I know this can be rough. Hang in there. I know you are with your wonderful spirit, but just incase you feel down, know we are praying for you!

livingpurereligion said...

First, I must say that you have BEAUTIFUL children! Can't wait until your bio kids can meet Jonathon and Daniel! That will be such a wonderful occasion!

There comes a point in everyone's adoption process, I believe, where you have to completely and totally surrender it all into His hands. Mine happened about a week after returning home from meeting Rebecca. It was so hard for me (I have control and trust issues anyway:), but since I surrendered all my worries and anxious feelings to Him I have felt such peace. But it isn't good enough for me to do it just once, I have to do it daily!

Thanks for sharing your heart and your willingness to submit this process into His hands!

I am praying!

Anonymous said...

Colleen:

I am so sorry that you are having to wait so much! I thought it was hard to adopt back in 02, 03 but this is much longer......

Gods timing is perfect....keep trusting HIM!!

Hugs

Kathy Eden said...

Amen to what you said! You said it so eloquently.

angela said...

yeah, cara, i was thinking the same thing: you have to come to this point time and again! i think that's true of anything in our lives. we just have to continue to give it over to the Lord.
and surely, colleen, we will be praying!!

CG said...

You are SO right, Colleen! If we don't let go completely we will lose our minds in this. I just wish I could give it all to Him once and for all & not have to KEEP giving up over and over again... I am still praying for your I-171h to arrive on time, as God worked a lot of last minute miracles with our paperwork.