It's Over...

Summer

Is

Definitely

Over!

Well, maybe not for Tim...

It Hurts

As I look through past posts, I notice our little Daniel is missing from many entries. As a mama, I feel bad. I feel as if I sort of neglect him. As if I favor the other children. It makes it look like maybe I love him less… None of this is true. As a matter of fact, Daniel has such a very special place in my heart ~ one which is difficult to share, but one that is so, so deep!

When I discovered my lack of writing about our sweet boy, I wanted to know what was keeping me from sharing about him, telling his story or asking my readers to pray for him, too? It was an easy answer to find but a harder one to share. It comes down to this ~ I miss Daniel more than I can possibly explain. More than I can possibly share. More than I truly want to admit. It hurts to miss him. It hurts to share it. And, it most certainly hurts to admit it.

Daniel is such special little boy. He comes with a very special story most of us will never truly understand or comprehend. For a little boy in Haiti, his story is pretty typical. This fact does not make it any less sad.

It was Daniel’s story that drew me to him. His story forced me to listen. When I listened, my heart cried. My heart cried and opened up. It opened up wide. As I held this little boy in my arms and heard his story, my heart broke. My heart broke for him. My heart broke because of his story. It was because of the story and the sweet little boy I knew I wanted to be his mama. I wanted to be his mama and help change his sad story into one full of happiness. I wanted to help write this sweet, little boy’s story. I wanted to add chapters to his story. I wanted to add good chapters – chapters of love, chapters of happiness, chapters of a forever family.

Daniel’s story is what makes me miss him. His story makes me miss him deeply! I am so ready to help write the next chapter of his life. I am ready to help make great changes and loving opportunities for such a special boy. I have been ready to do this for a very long time. I am ready.

It is not time for Daniel to come home to begin this new chapter. It will happen. It will happen when the time is right. I am truly okay with this. I am okay waiting. However, waiting does not make it hurt any less ~ especially if I think about it. If I think about all he could be doing, all I could be doing and all we could be doing together as a family - it hurts.

Daniel’s story will be a difficult one to turn around. However, I am ready to help turn it around. I am ready to hold him, rock him and hug him endlessly. I am ready to make him smile, make him laugh and make him happy. I am ready to tell him I love him every day; I am ready to make him feel loved every day. I want him to know he can be happy and feel this love every day. Wanting this hurts.

It hurts to think about all I can be giving Daniel if he were here. It hurts to think about all I want to give Daniel when he is here. It hurts thinking about his story and wanting to change how it plays out. It hurts thinking about when I learned about his story and what he went through. Since it hurts, I try not to think about it. I try to put it aside. I don’t think about it and I don’t worry. I try to remain positive. I think about all the wonderful opportunities and growing he is doing at the orphanage. I think about all the blessings he is receiving living at Angel House. I think about all the blessings we receive going through this adoption process.

I don’t write about Daniel often. I know why I do not write about him. I don’t write about him because I miss him. It is also okay to miss him. It is okay to want him home. I just wish it didn’t hurt so much.

Keep Praying!

Our prayers are working ~ Kate's tumor is shrinking. Please, please keep praying for this sweet little girl!

http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/mcraekate

Dude!

Happy 4th Birthday!

Disney World

We spent a week in Disney World in June. It was the kids first trip there. They had been to Disneyland, but never down to Florida's park. We had more than a fabulous time for 9 days. Fun, laughs and chillin' with Mickey.

Timbo * Timberoni * Timster * TJ * Timeika * Timerthy

He's a nut! I call him “Goober.” Cross between a geek and booger maybe? Not even sure where I got that nickname from, but it fits him perfectly.
There are so many times in a day when he cracks me up. His jokes. His one-liners. His sarcasm. I just love his sense of humor.
The past few months have been so much fun! I am truly enjoying the “kid” my son is turning into to right now. He laughs, he jokes, and he enjoys life. He is out to have a good time and wants to have fun. I have always thought Tim was a pretty cool kid. He has a very caring and loving side to him. He loves his family and admires his friends. He takes pride in what he does and wants to succeed. He wants to know what’s going on in the world and loves to learn. He has a very strong faith and cares deeply about God. All around, he is a terrific person.
Tim makes my heart swell. His admiration for life, his sensitivity towards others and his high standards brought upon by his belief in the Lord’s Word. I love him more each day. I couldn’t be more proud of him today!
I am having a blast being his mom. He makes it easy. He makes it fun. He is such a Goober!

Two Years Ago

Two years ago we took a big leap of faith. We heard a calling from the Lord, and we answered it.

Mike and I committed to this calling. We committed to adopt Jonathan.

So much has happened in the past two years. Our lives have forever changed.

We pray each day for Jonathan's health. We pray for his orphanage and caregivers.

.

Thank you, Lord, for calling us. Thank you for hearing our prayers.

We praise You, God, for placing Jonathan in our lives. We praise You for forever changing us two years ago.

"So...Um..."

"I'll trade ya this mango for a new Extract?!?!"

Seems Jonathan is need of a new Extract for his adoption file. In non-adoption terms, he needs a new birth certificate with the official seal. Prior to last year, Haiti did not require authenticated certificates. Now they do and Jonathan needs one. This could take quite a few months to achieve at this point.

So, here we wait. We wait for Jonathan's new birth certificate to be issued. We wait to move forward in the adoption process. We wait for approval in IBESR (Haitian Social Services.) We wait a little longer before we can bring the boys home. We wait and we pray.

Lord, as we try to be patient and wait for Your timing with the adoption, we pray asking You to please provide so the boys are taken care of and Jonathan remains well while they live at Angel House Orphanage. In Your son's name, Amen.

The Pure Light of God's Sweet Love

I received this via email from a friend - thank you, Jody. It really touched my heart. It made me think of all the Haitian people I have come to know. It made me think about those who criticize my desire to serve in a third world country.

I am so blessed to have had the opportunities to meet and get to know many of God's people. I am even more blessed to be able to know His sweet love for each of them! I pray I can also express this pure love to others each and every day.

Breakfast at McDonald's

I am a mother of three and have recently completed my college degree. The last class I had to take was Sociology. The teacher was absolutely inspiring with the qualities that I wish every human being had bee n graced with. Her last project of the term was called, 'Smile.' The class was asked to go out and smile at three people and document their reactions. I am a very friendly person and always smile at everyone and say hello anyway. So, I thought this would be a piece of cake, literally.

*

Soon after we were assigned the project, my husband, youngest son, and I went out to McDonald's one crisp March morning. It was just our way of sharing special playtime with our son.

*

We were standing in line, waiting to be served, when all of a sudden everyone around us began to back away, and then even my husband did. I did not move an inch...an overwhelming feeling of panic welled up inside of me as I turned to see why they had moved. As I turned around I smelled a horrible 'dirty body' smell, and there standing behind me were two poor homeless men. As I looked down at the short gentleman, close to me, he was 'smiling'. His beautiful sky blue eyes were full of God's Light as he searched for acceptance... He said, 'Good day' as he counted the few coins he had been clutching. The second man fumbled with his hands as he stood behind his friend. I realized the second man was mentally challenged and the blue-eyed gentleman was his salvation. I held my tears as I stood there with them.

*

The young lady at the counter asked him what they wanted. He said, 'Coffee is all Miss' because that was all they could afford. (If they wanted to sit in the restaurant and warm up, they had to buy something. He just wanted to be warm).

*

Then I really felt it - the compulsion was so great I almost reached out and embraced the little man with the blue eyes. That is when I noticed all eyes in the restaurant were set on me, judging my every action. I smiled and asked the young lady behind the counter to give me two more breakfast meals on a separate tray.

*

I then walked around the corner to the table that the men had chosen as a resting spot. I put the tray on the table and laid my hand on the blue-eyed gentleman's cold hand. He looked up at me, with tears in his eyes, and said, 'Thank you.'

*

I leaned over, began to pat his hand and said, 'I did not do this for you... God is here working through me to give you hope.' I started to cry as I walked away to join my husband and son.
*
When I sat down my husband smiled at me and said, 'That is why God gave you to me, Honey, to give me hope.' We held hands for a moment and at that time, we knew that only because of the Grace that we had been given were we able to give. We are not churchgoers, but we are believers. That day showed me the pure Light of God's sweet love.

*

I returned to college, on the last evening of class, with this story in hand. I turned in 'my project' and the instructor read it. Then she looked up at me and said, 'Can I share this?' I slowly nodded as she got the attention of the class. She began to read and that is when I knew that we as human beings and being part of God share this need to heal people and to be healed. In my own way I had touched the people at McDonald's, my son, the instructor, and every soul that shared the classroom on the last night

*

I spent as a college student. I graduated with one of the biggest lessons I would ever learn:

UNCONDITIONAL ACCEPTANCE.

With a Heavy Heart...

...I ask you to please pray for this little girl.

Kate

http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/mcraekate

Kate and her family have been on my mind since I first read their story and watched their video. http://www.youtube.com/v/ese3zYZ-NA4&hl=en&fs=1

I cannot even imagine what they are going through. I do not even try to understand the pain they feel. I will never be able to comprehend the anguish they are experiencing.

I am in awe of their faith in the Lord. I am humbled by their strength in Him. I am dedicated to praying for Kate.